Tag Archives: comedy

I may have found my line. There are, after all, rules here.

13 Feb

I love comedy, but I feel like I am to a polite-having-a-good-time-joke, as a wooden club is to a baby seal. I feel that way because I often just totally kill a nice, friendly facebook thread with some over the top,¬†inappropriate¬†comment. The equivalent, if you will, of dunking in a five year old’s face on the Fisher Price basketball net, and making him cry as much from the shock of being betrayed by a trusted adult, as the pain of being hit in the face with a plastic ball.

For example, an acquaintance posted a funny picture of an unfortunately worded sign that was in front of a church. The message was meant to encourage people to attend the service. It read, “A warm ¬† come Awaits you”. My friend had posted the caption, “Hahaha so this is totally why people believe in god/ heaven/ go to mass/ convert?”, to which there were several polite hahas and “likes”. And then I asked, because I wanted to know how it was kept warm, “Is it in a cup, or a chafing dish? Or do they have a line up of guys “on the edge” by the door?”. The image of church goers being sprayed with arcing ropes of cum could not leave my head. I think it’d be a beautiful, Felliniesque scene. There were no subsequent comments. That the friend, and her friends, were church goers probably did not help. I’d let off a stinky fart in the middle of fellowship, and they were now politely trying to ignore it.

Today, however, I found the line that I won’t cross. I won’t make fun of people’s appearances in a mean spirited way. I don’t think it’s funny to laugh at a person for being wrinkly, or fat, or horse faced or dog faced, or even monkey’s ass faced. So, today I learned about a Brazilian doctor that performs plastic surgery for dogs. And I tried to write something funny about the Brazilian dog plastic surgeon and I just couldn’t think of any person I’d mock about going there. Even though it’d be easy to say Anne Widdecombe should go there, or that Susan Boyle should have an appointment with him, or that Sarah Jessica Parker should get a facelift there, I just don’t think it’s fair or funny. I’ve had issues with my appearance too, so I know how it feels to have something you can’t really control be the butt of a joke. It hurts, frankly, and I’m currently writing some material about my insecurities about my body to tackle those bad memories…